Writing everything down

I've been back and forth on whether or not I wanted to blog about my current weight adventures, mostly because in the past, it has been my goal to just lose weight and be done with it. Around this time last year, I was mildly successful; I lost like 15 pounds on a strict no carb diet. Soon thereafter, I lost my motivation, and then I started losing my hair. And then the weight came back... and to this day, the shower drain reveals that I'm still short a lot of hair!
Gone are the days where I can eat whatever I want and not worry about the health consequences. Add to that being tired of carrying around extra weight, memories of my father's heart related problems, and my current nutrition class, and I've got the perfect motivation to not just lose weight, but most importantly, to be healthy. You know, stick around here for a while.


A week ago, I began keeping track of everything that I eat. Everything. That, in itself, has been the best teacher of all... having the numbers right in front of me really helps me make better food choices. The sad truth is, almost anything that I don't personally prepare is either high in calories, fat or sodium. I cringe at the thought of the things that I ate before without even consulting the nutrition label, or paying attention to serving sizes!
I've been tracking my meals on livestrong.com (for freeeee!) and I've managed to convince Mark to do the same.
So here's the difference: I am not paying attention to my weight. Maybe in a month or so I'll report my weight loss, but for now, my priority is to get my cholesterol and triglycerides down.
I had blood drawn about 2 weeks ago, and I got my results back today. It's a wake up call, for sure. I'm not even into fried foods and I always avoid things that are blatantly terrible, and yet my was cholesterol was 227, and my triglycerides were 363... both on the high side. I'm posting these things here because it makes me more accountable to take control of these numbers and bring them down.
So in the ultimate disregard of my own privacy for the sake of motivation (ha!), you can view what I'm eating and how my little journey is coming along here: Food Diary

And that's the latest in the life of Michelle!
And now... what to eat?

Tour of California

We woke up this morning to crazy gusts of wind, rain and cold. It's the worst day to take a bike ride, for sure... but the Tour Of California started anyway. We skipped the idea of going downtown and simply walked down the street to cheer the riders on.
(You can click on the photos to enlarge them.)

Marky

People kept darting across the street when the cop had his back turned, much to his disdain.

Cold... but still excited!

Don't forget extra tires...

Here they come! aaaagh!

Is that Lance? eh? eh? I think it is.
*edit* That's totally him. Yellow and black helmet.

No mercy on stray toes... they were SO CLOSE!

Extra Bikes

And that was it!

It was all of like, 20 seconds, but still really neat. I felt like a little kid.


I LOVE DAVIS OMG OMG

:)

You can follow the race here

All over the place

My house finally sold.

It's a bizarre feeling; mostly relief, with a touch of nostalgia, and a tiny voice that echoes, "Now what will you call home?" But the lack of responsibility overrides this. How nice it is to finally not have to worry about a mortgage and all the lovely added expenses of being a homeowner. I'd love to own a home again someday, but next time, by choice.
So... I don't know. I don't have a sense of home anymore, at least not the way my peers do. My home is here in Davis now, but I still don't know where everything is, and I miss the mastery that only growing up in a town can bring. Visiting the desert will probably expose my true feelings about all this -- I mean, 500 miles is a very convenient buffer and I'm very much removed from it all.

Except I still miss my father these days. Every time someone says,"He'd be so proud!", it makes me happy for second, then I realize that yeah, he would be... but he's not here. As much as I'd like to use that as my motivation, he's not here, and there is no substitute for that deep bellied laugh and bear hug that I once relied on.
It doesn't bother me on a daily basis; in fact, it is a rare evening that I find myself with tears in my eyes. For the most part, I feel like just another student on campus... until I hear others referring to their parents. And because I am a freshman, I am surrounded by 18 year olds -- so there's a lot of college adjustment and parental involvement issues. Students that are legally independent yet so very very very dependent on their parents, whether they'd like to admit it or not. It's almost reassuring to know that I don't have to answer to anyone, and that my motivations to be in school are solely my own, without any external pressures or expectations. Then again, my father was not one to parent that way anyway, so with him dead or alive, I'd still have the freedom to find my own way in life.

Wait a minute... am I actually glad to be an orphan? God no. I'm just all the more appreciative of the dad I had. Some parents are friggin' crazy. And some of their kids are.. well, oblivious to life outside of school. It's kind of nice to be among them, to feel like a carefree student... with a smirk on my face. Anytime I feel like I've gotten a slow start, I remember that I'm already done with some of the most difficult parts of life.

On a much lighter note... The Tour of California starts tomorrow right here in Davis. Mark wants to go check out the crowd in the AM... then we'll probably come home and camp out on the corner, because the race route passes right by our neighborhood. Should be fun!

If I want to get up before 10 am, I'd better go to bed.

The consequence of going to bed late?

I lose my spot.

Ah, yes, Diego loves the bed. He's a pillow hog, loves blankets, and is basically much like a small child. There's a three part begging process to be let up on the bed, and he executes each step with great skill.

1. The Stare
This can vary from pathetic looking to downright goofy, depending on my mood.
My first line of defense: Avoid eye contact.
His response: Loud sighing/snorting.

2. The Heavy Head
Usually accompanied by one paw and loud exhales, he is clearly looking for the sympathy vote.
My second line of defense: "I'll pet you, but that's it."
His response: Shivering. I'm not kidding. He can make his teeth chatter. Loudly.

3. The Heavy Head to the Max
This simply involves getting closer, utilizing the stare from Step 1, and maximizing step 2.
Most important, though, is the addition of the wet nose to warm human flesh technique, which is not ignorable.
There is no line of defense for this.
His Response:

PILLOW.

But when there are two humans on the bed, there really isn't any room left for an 80lb doberman. But he tries anyway. The thing is, he has his own bed at the foot of our bed. Mrs. Socks has no problem sleeping there -- she's a bear when it comes to sleeping. Diego, however, goes through the same process every night.
He takes his spot on his bed, and we turn off the lights. A few moments later, footsteps. He goes over to Mark's side and nudges him. "GO LAY DOWN!" is the usual command. Footsteps again... he even walks over his bed, giving us hope that he listened to Mark. Sure enough, the steps continue over to my side of the bed. But his approach is slightly different when it comes to his mother; he puts his nose as close to my face as possible. Imagine now, complete darkness -- and a giant dog breathing ever-so-quietly on your face. I hold still and try not to laugh as he puts his nose on MY EYE SOCKET. Where did he learn this?? "GO TO BED! GO LAY DOWN!"
And, like a sullen 4 year old, he makes the 5 ft walk to his bed, turns around 47 times to find the perfect spot, and plops down with a loud, disgruntled sigh.

Meanwhile, Mrs. Socks sleeps.
And she farts... loud. Like an old lady should be entitled to.

Mid-January Update

I do these things to crack myself up. If it makes you laugh, then it's even better.
You can make your own Shepard Fairey-ish Obama poster here.

So... here we are. It's almost the end of week 2 of school, 8 weeks left, and I am on top of everything. Everything. It's fantastic. Last minute, half-assed schoolwork is now a thing of the past. I've come to realize that I could have done better last quarter, and should have. For now, I will just blame it on having to get used to school again. You know, I had to get back into the routine. There. I've made my excuse and I am sticking with it. One excuse is acceptable. Excuses are what get you into trouble. My first quarter was more about learning non-academic things, like "how to bike in the rain" and "where the hell is my next class?" Also... where not to eat on campus, when to get free samples from the bakery, and how to avoid crazy LaRouche-ers on the quad.
So I'm generally happy about it overall. And now that I've exhausted my excuse, I am doing a lot better. So far, doing well is more choice than ability.

I'm biking a minimum of 6 miles daily... my legs are so buff, but sadly, I have not lost weight. I've noticed that I'm a lot hungrier than I used to be (hence my lovely poster up there) so I'm going to assume that it is a result of my increase in activity. So... perhaps I am consuming all the calories that I burn, and without any sort of deficit, the weight is staying on. I've got a doctor's appointment later this month (hallelujah health insurance!) so ideally I'll be getting a complete checkup, something I've never had in my adult life.

I'm considering volunteering at the UCDVetMed hospital because I need to be reminded of what my goals are. I've had a lot of "What do I REALLY want to do?" moments since I've started school, because everything I am learning is interesting to me (except linguistics. okay, it is interesting and I see why it is important, but... I couldn't handle it. I love you Danielle.) So then I wonder: people medicine? law? vet school? art history? (just kidding!) I think that being around animals again would surely get my heart back into the right place. There's just so much to do.... what do I want to be when I grow up? I suppose I don't really have to decide. I'll just get the grades that will enable me to have many options to be decided upon later. It's a very productive form of procrastination.

So for now, I am trying to come up with a nice weekend adventure to take advantage of the 3-day weekend.
aaaaaand that's about it. Life is good.

Thank goodness..

...December is over. I made it, I made it, I made it.

I think the secret to not being miserable over the holidays was to finally drop the expectations and hopes of recreating the holidays as they once were, before the deaths, when there was a family, when it was happy without any effort. And of course, having moved out of my childhood home made things a lot easier; the echo of my father's laughter is not audible 500 miles away. I am now able to start my own traditions instead of relying on the Christmases of past, something that I am looking forward to doing from now on.

I am a little regretful that I didn't track my progress on here... I've just been absent. Part of it is my own need to grit my teeth and get through everything completely before finally looking back, and part of it is the fact that my little sister has been here for the past week and I've just been off the computer. She flies out Sunday morning and i'll be back into my routine on Monday.

I was hoping to write about all the things that have been going on for the past few weeks, but I can't remember everything. Okay, here's my excuse: There was a lot of traveling, a lot of emotional ups and downs (but, as I mentioned, far less than usual) and lots of sister-entertaining... and today's day-long headache. Combined, these things have caused some memory loss. I really should go to bed.

I'm thinking a December Recap in Photos might do the trick.

I am going to read this tomorrow and laugh at how all over the place my writing is.

Happy Holidays!

Some jerk cleaned out my checking account with a shopping spree in Southern California! I didn't even lose my debit card... they just somehow used the number, 500 miles away.

Tis the season for identity theft, fa la la la la.....

Post-Finals status update

Just finished my last final. ::Huge sigh of relief::
My last one was Ancient Mediterranean Art, the class that has been challenging me the most... yet I've been getting the best grade in. I guess my old excuses for getting bad grades in middle school are starting to have merit... "But daaaaad, I am not being challenged enough, that is why I have a C average...."

I'm sitting outside the Memorial union eating a snickerdoodle, a chocolate chip shortbread oatmeal concoction (that leads me to believe that it's healthy), and I'm drinking a pomegranate strawberry odwalla... which I chose because it advertises "Only 50 Calories!"

Yeah, my brain isn't working yet.

Tonight we've got Mark's company Christmas party, so I'll be trying to find something both warm and nice to wear, something I don't really think that I own. We'll see.

It's 60 degrees. I need to go home.

H = ?

Funny moment of the day:

I'm taking my friend Weijing to the airport tonight to fly home to Mexico City for the holidays.

She needs to take a shower first, so I hand her a towel and she goes in the bathroom.
The water goes on, the water goes off, then on again...

She comes out in a towel and says,

"Um, is there hot water?"
"Of course there is..."
"Well I turned on the C knob, for Caliente, and it was cold, then the other one was cold too."
::pause::
"Honey, C is for Cold.... "

"aaaaaaaah!"

Gotta love her.

Tea Pee

Got the papers done on time. Next up: Finals. My first final is tomorrow evening, then one each day for the rest of the week. I'm not too stressed out... I have enough time. Quite honestly, compared to paper writing, testing seems like a vacation. I wish that I could just test my way through college. I understand that it would be a horrible system, much like the standardized crap that k-12 students are shuffled through, but it would work for me. :P Anyway, once finals are over, I'll be on break until January 5th. I'll be utilizing that free time to work on the "office" we are going to have in the 2nd bedroom. As of right now, that room mostly functions as the habitat for our pet random-stuff eating monster. Everyday, we put important and uncategorized things in there, to be consumed by said monster and to never be seen again. He apparently covets the giant boxes of stuff we have put in there, as they have accumulated to Mt. Everest sized proportions.

And, just in time for late night studying, I have become obsessed with tea. My favorite blend right now is this deliciously fragrant mix of jasmine green tea and a tropical rooibos tea. I can't stop brewing and drinking this stuff, which means I sleep no more than 2 hours before waking up and having to pee furiously.
...but at least I wake up first, right?

So, for any of you that have been completely stressed out about what to get me, your beloved one and only Michelle, for Christmas...relief is here! Tea. Loose leaf, delicious tea. The more exotic, the better. I bought this latest mix from a lovely store in Sacramento called Teavana, however I think it's way overpriced. I mean, hello... it's tea. People of all incomes and walks of life drink tea, so when the cost of a few ounces of tea is equivalent to the monthly salary poverty line in Indonesia, something is terribly wrong.... and so very American. (BTW, the poverty line in Indonesia is $20/month.)


On a lighter note, I just barely saw this video today, although it has already made the rounds online... so if you haven't seen it, enjoy! Or not, depending on your political/moral/whatever stance on Prop 8.



I'll be back here after finals!