A tough reminder

I was walking through a crowd of recent graduates and their proud parents, grandparents, and assorted extended family members today and I really couldn't help but think about what my graduation day would be like. Most graduates would agree that the ceremony, the cap and gown, and all the pomp and circumstance is mostly for the doting parents.
Would I want to walk? I'm not sure. I know who'd I'd invite, I know who I'd want pictures with, but I can't help but feel like it's not a complete picture without my father.
This is grief... little annoying reminders that I'm different, that I am a parentless college student. The phrase "my mom" or "my dad" seems foreign when it isn't followed by "died". It's just been so long since they've been alive. And yet there are days when I still cry like they died yesterday. And sometimes I can't believe that this is my life, that I'm the one whose parents are dead already.

The bright side? I have 2 more years to decide about my graduation celebration, so I have pleeeeenty of time.

Status Update

I refuse to let this blog go for an entire year.
Part of me thinks that the era of blogging has passed its prime. I mean, there was a time when blogs were insightful. You weren't just writing for yourself (that's what journals are for!) but also to enlighten, entertain, amuse, or just engage in intelligent arguments and conversations. What I'm trying to say is that there was real value to blogging. For instance, Danielle's Blog. It's the best blog ever because:

• it keeps loved ones up to date
• it is informative: a super good resource for anyone moving to Brazil
• it's interesting because her life is an adventure
• that woman can write. really well.

I've been reluctant (and also a bit lazy) to blog because I feel like all the social aspects of the internet have been bombarded by useless crap. Facebook used to be restricted to schools.. remember those good ol' days? Now it's a newer version of MySpace, sans the ridiculous and seizure inducing HTML code. I feel like such an old grump by saying all this. Remember when status updates were witty? Now they're just to-do lists. Or TMI.
So when I think about posting, I have to ask myself, am I just adding to all the crap that's out there? There is something about social networking that makes people think that they are truly special, that everyone cares about what errands they'll be running today and what epiphanies they had (for the 147th time) on the toilet earlier.
I just wonder how many other people feel the same way I do. I don't think this sort of self-promotion and useless information overload will last forever. At least that's what I hope. It scares me that most teenagers see the internet as a way to get on MySpace rather than a useful tool for other things... everything!

So why am I blogging? It's my personal scrapbook of where I've been and where I'm going. While one can argue that I should just use a paper journal for this purpose, it is highly unlikely that I'll exert myself to the extent of bringing a pen to paper for anything other than academic purposes. Just think of all the lovely distractions that typing can bring! Besides, I'm more comfy here.

So.. I'm back.
This has nothing to do with the fact that I have a bunch of studying to do and that I love to procrastinate by doing unrelated things and then feeling like I've accomplished something other than putting off the original task at hand.